The BEST episodes written by Dick Chevillat
#1 - What's in a Name?
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 21
Ralph Monroe finds herself smitten with Hank Kimball, but discovers that he won't date a woman with a man's name. She asks Oliver to file court papers to have her name changed to something more feminine. While in court, Oliver learns that his license to practice law is not recognized by the state. This sends Oliver back to the books to study for the state's bar exam.
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#2 - The Day of Decision
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 22
Lisa agreed to try out Green Acres for six months. Today's the day she decides whether to stay in Hooterville or return to New York. Everyone anxiously awaits her decision. In the meantime, Oliver flashes back to their first days on the farm, his physical mishaps around the house, and Haney's lousy products.
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#3 - Lisa Bakes a Cake
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 18
Oliver's upset that Lisa listed him the new phone directory as an attorney. He fears he'll be flooded with calls wanting his legal advice. Instead, lawyer Douglas becomes cranky when his phone doesn't ring. Meanwhile, Lisa tackles a formidable task in the kitchen: baking a cake. When Oliver finally gets a potential client, the unlucky man encounters Ralph's plank, Lisa's 20-pound pound cake and Haney's truck.
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#4 - My Husband, the Rooster Renter
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 5
Mr. Haney rents Bertram the rooster to Oliver for fifty cents a day. Unfortunately, he's a "pecker", not a "crower", so he also gets a chicken named Alice. Oliver then sets about getting a phone installed in the kitchen (though the line won't be connected for three months), the plumbing and roof fixed, and electricity via a rickety power generator. Mr. Douglas also meets his county farm agent, the absent-minded Hank Kimball, who takes some soil samples for analyzing.
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#5 - What Happened in Scranton?
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 14
Lisa is shocked that Hooterville doesn't have a beauty salon. She calls her mother-in-law who ships out her hair dresser, Claude. (She blackmails him with one word: "Scranton".) Setting up shop on the Cannonball, he gives the Hooterville women new hairdos. Now, they're too "beautiful" for farm work.
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#6 - Give Me Land, Lots of Land
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 16
Lisa is against buying neighboring property owned by the Watsons until she see their farmhouse. Thinking the house is part of the deal, Lisa sells the Watsons' furniture to Mr. Haney and has their things brought over. All of this happens while Oliver is in New York arranging the financing.
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#7 - How to Enlarge a Bedroom
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 15
After Lisa delivers an ultimatum, Oliver hires incompetent carpenters Alf and Ralph Monroe to enlarge the tiny bedroom. The Monroes have just begun moving the walls when the building inspector, the father of Eb's girlfriend, "disapproves" the project and condemns the whole house. Oliver is left with an open air bedroom without a roof.
#8 - I Didn't Raise My Husband to Be a Fireman
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 17
Oliver is allowed to join the Hooterville Volunteer Fire Department if he'll play an instrument in their marching band. As Chief Joe Carson explains, they have more parades than fires. Patriotic speeches follow as Oliver takes his new duties very seriously.
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#9 - Lisa Has a Calf
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 12
Fearful that Mr. Haney will lay claim to Eleanor's calf, the Douglases decide to keep the cow's pregnancy a secret. The Hooterville gossips get part of the story right, except they think it's Lisa who's expecting.
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#10 - Furniture, Furniture, Who's Got the Furniture?
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 6
Oliver's mother sends the Douglases their furniture from New York, while she also rides down to visit them. While Oliver and Lisa wait for the furniture to arrive, Eunice is stuck with Uncle Joe on his handcar, getting to Hooterville. Things go bad to worse when Eunice finds herself the target of Newt Kiley's bull, and the Douglases' furniture is delivered to Mr. Haney's instead.
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#11 - Lisa's First Day on the Farm
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 2
Lisa gets her first look at their dilipidated--and empty--farmhouse and is horrified. Oily Mr. Haney, who previously owned the dump, took everything with him, including the bathroom fixtures, and tries to resell them to Oliver. Eb, one of Haney's workers, is hired on as their farm hand. Lisa goes out to meet the locals, most of whom have entered a pool wagering on how long the Douglases will stay. Lisa is ready to immediately return to New York, but after a chat with Kate Bradley, she decides to give farm life a try.
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#12 - The Decorator
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 3
Oliver wants to start farming but Lisa demands he have their house redecorated first. Sam Drucker recommends a decorator from Pixley. Kate Bradley tries to tutor Lisa in the kitchen since she doesn't know the first thing about cooking. Kate starts by showing her how to make something easy: hotscakes. Adding to the chaos is Oliver's mother, who arrives to rescue Lisa from her nightmarish country life.
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#13 - Parity Begins at Home
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 11
Oliver wants to plant wheat on all 160 of his acres, but the local agricultural committee says he can only do eight. Incensed, Oliver takes his complaints all the way to Washington. Surprisingly, Haney sides with Oliver and prepares to fight the National Guard in "The Siege of Green Acres".
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#14 - A Star Named Arnold is Born (1)
Green Acres - Season 3 - Episode 29
Arnold's performance as a British police dog in the Hooterville theater production of Who--the marquee wasn't big enough for Who Killed Jock Robin?--turns him into an overnight star. Lisa is so impressed, she arranges for an old friend to give him a Hollywood screen test. The Douglases are soon Tinseltown bound, escorting the hammy actor west for his big showbiz break.
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#15 - You Can't Plug in a 2 with a 6
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 9
It's planting time in Hooterville and Oliver is shocked that the locals make their crop choices based on aches and pains. Back on the farm, Oliver assigns every electrical device a number from one to seven in an effort to keep their creaky generator from blowing. All gadgets up to a total of seven can be plugged in at the same time, but Lisa can't quite grasp the concept.
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#16 - Don't Call Us, We'll Call You
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 10
With their phone still not connected, Oliver asks Mr. Kimball to put some pressure on his mother, who owns the telephone company. Kimball says he and his mother aren't speaking, but Oliver convinces him to make up with her. His mom is so grateful, she promptly has a phone installed--on top of a pole outside their bedroom.
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#17 - The Ballad of Molly Turgis
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 26
Oliver wants to write a folk song about local legend Molly Turgis, a woman so ugly she was run out of Hooterville. Facts are hard to come by, though, because the mere mention of her name causes bad to happen. Lisa feels sorry for Molly and offers to give her a make-over.
#18 - My Mother the Countess
Green Acres - Season 3 - Episode 22
On learning that Lisa's mother is coming for a visit, the Hooterville residents go overboard in wanting to welcome the countess. Despite Oliver's protests that she's not royalty, they forge ahead anyway with plans for a parade and marching band.
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#19 - The Best Laid Plans
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 4
While Oliver makes plans to get the farm in working order, Lisa travels to New York to pack up their furniture. The Hooterville locals begin gossiping, assuming Lisa left him for good. While she's in the city, Oliver's mother connects her with an architect who designs an extravagant country club.
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#20 - Love Comes to Arnold Ziffel
Green Acres - Season 3 - Episode 3
Fred Ziffel objects to Arnold's love affair with Haney's "basket" hound Cynthia. Realizing that their relationship can never work, Arnold breaks things off. When Cynthia performs miserably at the county field trials, Haney wants to sue over his heartbroken hound.
#21 - Lisa the Helpmate
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 8
Oliver has collected soil samples from his farm for the university to analyze. When the samples are accidentally spilled, Oliver's mother siezes the opportunity to get her son off the farm; she mixed the dirt with products from her cosmetics bag.
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#22 - Sprained Ankle, Country Style
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 19
While fixing the TV antenna, Oliver falls through the roof and sprains his ankle. A parade of Hooterville residents shows up to give their regards while he's off his feet, but instead of sharing the food they've made for him, they crowd him off his own bed to watch Frankenstein Meets Mary Poppins on television.
#23 - Never Look a Gift Tractor in the Mouth
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 27
Lisa wants to surprise Oliver with a new tractor for his birthday. To keep it out of sight, she has it delivered to the Ziffels' farm. The old couple mistakes it as a gift from Mrs. Douglas, leading Doris to think that Fred and Lisa are having a torrid affair.
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#24 - Wings Over Hooterville
Green Acres - Season 2 - Episode 1
Lisa tells the story of how she and Oliver met. During WWII, Oliver's plane was shot down and he was stranded in a tree. Lisa rescues Oliver, but doesn't trust him because he "spends more time talking than smooching". After Lisa's story, the farmers of Hooterville discover their crops are being destroyed by some unknown insect. Mr. Kimball identifies it as the "Bing Bug". The farmers appoint Oliver to dust all the crops, but not being in the cockpit for years causes trouble for Oliver in Mr. Haney's cheap plane.
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#25 - The Wedding Anniversary
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 13
While Oliver tries to recall how long he's been married to Lisa, she flashes back to last year's anniversary which ended with them in jail. The trouble began when a panicked Oliver found corn bores in his terrace garden. His mother, refusing to keep party guests waiting at the Waldorf while Oliver plays farmer, started tossing his "crop" off the balcony. Pots crashing onto the street below did not please the NYC cops.
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#26 - Neighborliness
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 7
Oliver is frustrated because, among other problems, his new plow won't arrive in time for planting season. Uncle Joe has a solution that, naturally, benefits him as well. He charges farmers one dollar each to enter a plowing contest, promising them free lunch and big prizes. This is all news to Oliver as the neighbors on their tractors start descending on his farm.
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#27 - Getting Even With Haney
Green Acres - Season 2 - Episode 26
Tired of Doris' nagging about having to beat their laundry on a rock in the creek, Fred buys a Grabwell washing machine from Mr. Haney. The boat motor in a barrel goes berzerk, spraying water and clothes everywhere before chasing the Ziffels out their front door. Oliver is more than happy to take their case and stick it to Haney in the courtroom.
#28 - Lisa's Jam Session
Green Acres - Season 3 - Episode 2
Drucker's store doesn't stock jam since all the Hooterville women make their own. Oliver encourages Lisa to learn how to make preserves from Doris Ziffel since hers are the best in the valley. Lisa learns her trick, but it doesn't stay secret for long.
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#29 - A Tale of a Tail
Green Acres - Season 5 - Episode 4
Oliver takes Arnold the Pig Chicago to receive Arnold's inheritance of $20,000,000. Arnold is a direct discendant of Herman, a pig who could predict the weather with his tail. However, Oliver soon finds it difficult watching after a pig in the hotel.
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#30 - How to Succeed in Television Without Really Trying
Green Acres - Season 3 - Episode 19
Boy genius Dilly Watkins improves farm life for Douglases with his new electronic inventions. Besides the barn door opener that works when Eleanor moos at it, there's the television camera that sends pictures of the cow to the bedroom set. Oliver doesn't realize the camera is transmitting to all the sets in the valley, turning him into an overnight Nielsen sensation.
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#31 - The Confrontation
Green Acres - Season 5 - Episode 20
In just his first day as the School Board President, Oliver has started a grammar school protest. The kids are upset that their mascot, Arnold, has been thrown out for popping his teacher with a pea shooter. Fred asks Oliver to represent his "son" on grounds that he was discriminated against, but all Oliver can do is talk to the school's determined principal.
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#32 - Not Guilty
Green Acres - Season 3 - Episode 17
Sam Drucker calls the law when he discover $300 is missing from his safe. With the investigation pointing only to Frank Nitti, Eb is finally charged when he shows up in a car he paid $300 for and can't recall who gave him the money to buy it.
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#33 - The Hole in the Porch
Green Acres - Season 6 - Episode 23
While fixing a leaky sink pipe, Oliver is reminded that he needs to fix other things around the place, like the loose floorboard on the front porch. After checking it out, he determines it is dryrotted and needs to be replaced. He places a sturdier board on top of it, so no one will get hurt, until he can repair it. Mr. Kimball arrives and removes the sturdy board, sighting it as a tripping danger. He immediately walks on the dry rotted board and falls into a hole up to his knee. With his injury, he needs to recuperate at the Douglases. Lisa bandages his foot and Hank's admirer Ralph arrives to play nurse for her "Hankie-poo". The annoying patient makes matters worse by blowing his kazoo when he needs Oliver or Lisa. Mr. Haney tries to get Mr. Douglas to sign an out of court settlement in Mr. Kimball's (now his client) favor for $50,000; refusing Mr. Douglas throws Mr. Haney out. Since the patient has taken over Oliver's bed, the Douglases sleep in the barn.
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#34 - Culture
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 31
The "Every Other Wednesday Afternoon Discussion Club" decides to bring culture to the valley by starting the Hooterville Symphony Orchestra. Oliver calls the women "nuts" for considering such a ridiculous idea. Undeterred, Lisa calls her conductor friend Sir Geffory, aka "Poopsie", to come and conduct the orchestra. What he encounters is the Hooterville Volunteer Fire Department Marching Band playing the only song they know.
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#35 - His Honor
Green Acres - Season 2 - Episode 16
Oliver misunderstands when the Hooterville bigwigs ask him to be a judge. He thinks he's being appointed an appellate judge but they just want him to judge apples at the county fair. The Douglases travel to New York so Oliver can get some judging advice while Lisa shops for a robe and wig for His Honor.
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#36 - Double Drick
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 25
Tired of repairing the rickety generator that Haney sold him, Oliver checks on the status of his electricity. Learning that his application was never mailed, Oliver decides to deal with the power company in person. He finds that nothing in Hooterville is done simply--or correctly; he ends up with a meter that runs even when it's disconnected and another pole by the bedroom window.
#37 - The Coming-Out Party
Green Acres - Season 6 - Episode 2
Lori, the little girl who missed the train back to the city, is staying with the Douglases. Lisa's plan to introduce her to the local children by having a party and gets out of hand; the festivities grow to include an elephant and Haney giving biplane rides. While Oliver fights to downsize her event, he searches for a replacement part for his ancient Hoyt-Clagwell tractor so he can begin planting.
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#38 - Kimball Gets Fired
Green Acres - Season 2 - Episode 27
Ralph is distraught when her beloved "Hankie" Kimball is fired as the county agricultural agent. His replacement is so rude and insulting that even Oliver is plotting to get Kimball rehired. His scheme is to scare the new guy away by fixing him up with Ralph.
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#39 - Uncle Ollie
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 32
Oliver's groovy nephew arrives in Hooterville on his motorcycle with long hair, hip lingo and no interest in work. Chuck is excellent with motors, however, and proceeds to "soup up" all the vehicles in the valley. The easily influenced Eb is quick to decide he wants to be a beatnick.
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#40 - Apple-Picking Time
Green Acres - Season 6 - Episode 8
Oliver has his first good apple crop, but the valley has no pickers. He suggests the farmers take turns picking each others' crops, but by the time they get to him, they're worn out. Compounding his problems, Lisa's driving lessons include an unplanned wreck with a sheriff's car.
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#41 - A Pig in a Poke
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 23
Oliver is invited to New York to be the guest speaker at a Harvard alumni banquet but he arrives with an unexpected stowaway. Meanwhile, the Ziffels fear that they'll lose Arnold to Mr. Haney, who's trying to take the pig in lieu of a debt that he claims the Ziffels owe him.
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#42 - Alf and Ralph Break Up
Green Acres - Season 3 - Episode 14
Alf and Ralph announce that they are FINALLY going to finish the bedroom for Lisa and Oliver, but when a fight breaks out between brother and sister, Ralph comes to stay with the Douglas's and since Ralph refuses to work on the bedroom because it reminds her of Alf, Lisa hires her as the maid, but when Oliver realizes she's a good cook he has trouble letting go of her, Alf eventually comes and apologizes and the two go home, Oliver then realizes that Lisa is a good plasterer and goes into the bedroom with Oliver.
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#43 - Send a Boy to College
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 28
Eb's talent for curing sick animals leads the Douglases to send him to veterinarian school. Unfortunately, his college career is short-lived due to one small oversite.
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#44 - The Rains Came
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 30
A drought in Hooterville has crops wilting in the fields. Oliver is so desperate, he agrees to pay Haney $350 if he can bring some relief. That's when Haney presents dancing Chief Thundercloud. When the rains eventually arrive, Oliver refuses to pay. He says the Chief's dancing is not what did the trick.
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#45 - Water, Water Everywhere
Green Acres - Season 2 - Episode 2
Mr. Haney has Willie the well-witcher to witch him a new well. But when Mr. Haney has plenty of water, Oliver loses his water. The same thing happens when Oliver has a new well witched, then the Ziffels run out of water. When they get a new well, then Mr. Drucker runs out of water. Oliver decides that Hooterville should open a reservoir. Soon afterwards, everyone has enough water, but when everyone turns on their faucets, they lose their electricity.
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#46 - Rest and Relaxation
Green Acres - Season 5 - Episode 15
Oliver's old friend, reporter Mort Warner, comes to Hooterville to relax and soothe his rattled nerves. He's ready to flee in less than one day. Mort is frightened by Lisa's syrupy coffee, hosed down with oil by Oliver's rickety tractor, and has his bed invaded by a TV-watching pig. Fred Ziffel peers at him naked in the outdoor shower, Mr. Haney gouges him with his phony Auto Club, the sheriff arrests him for stealing the Douglas' car, and quail-hunting Hank Kimball fills his behind with buckshot.
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#47 - It's So Peaceful in the Country
Green Acres - Season 2 - Episode 17
Oliver's mother needs bed rest so what better place than her son's farm. All she has to do is ignore Alf and Ralph's drilling, Haney's tour group, a group of dancing Sioux Indians and their chief who think's she's a looker.
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#48 - The Price of Apples
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 20
Oliver will make considerable more on his apple crop if he gets his to market first. He hires local highschoolers to pick the fruit and uses their old truck to haul them. As the rickety truck suffers numerous breakdowns, the apple prices begin to drop. Finally, Lisa's hotscakes come to the rescue.
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#49 - The Deputy
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 24
Sam Drucker's off for a two-week vacation to visit his sister, leaving Oliver to take over his duties as deputy sheriff. Complications ensue when Oliver demonstrates how to use a pair of handcuffs to Lisa before discovering that he's lost the keys.
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#50 - The Hooterville Image
Green Acres - Season 2 - Episode 9
The Hooterville farmers have decided that Oliver is ruining the town's image by doing his farming chores in a suit. Oliver eventually gives in to their demand to wear overalls, but they weren't planning on the fur-covered pair that Lisa's dressmaker has designed.
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