The WORST episodes of Red Dwarf
Every episode of Red Dwarf ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of Red Dwarf!
Three million years after the demise of humanity, third technician Dave Lister awakes aboard the mining ship Red Dwarf. Sentenced to a period of suspended animation for smuggling his pet cat on board, he is joined by just four fellow survivors: second technician Arnold J Rimmer, a sneering-yet-inept hologram based on his one-time superior; Holly, a ship's computer reduced to near-senility by eons adrift in space; a humanoid descendant of the cat obsessed with fashion and fish; and Kryten, a salvaged android programmed to serve his useless companions. Together, this bickering band must come to terms with an existence which, in terms of productivity and purpose, isn't that far removed from its old one.
#1 - Timewave
Season 12 - Episode 3 - Aired 10/26/2017
After the crew discover, name and take soil samples from a 'Helium-7'-rich moon (Planet Rimmer), Starbug is hit by a Time Wave, bringing them into contact with a Twenty-Third Century ship, the S.S. Enconium. However, there are two problems. First, the ship is set on a horrific collision course with Planet Rimmer. And second, upon the ship, all forms of criticism are punishable by life imprisonment or 'draining'.
#2 - Back to Earth (2)
Season 9 - Episode 2 - Aired 4/11/2009
Rimmer's replacement, Katerina, is determined to guide Lister back to his home planet. But Earth in 2009 is not everything the boys had expected, and Rimmer has no intention of being replaced.
#3 - Back to Earth (1)
Season 9 - Episode 1 - Aired 4/10/2009
Nine years later the Red Dwarf crew are older but still none the wiser. Lister's busy day of annoying Rimmer is interrupted by the discovery of a dimension-hopping leviathan in the ship's mile-deep water tank.
#4 - Twentica
Season 11 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/22/2016
The Dwarfers find themselves in an alternative version of America, where modern technology is prohibited, making Rimmer and Kryten illegal. The Dwarfers infiltrate the tech savvy underground, and try to bring down the authoritarian regime.
#5 - Back to Earth (3)
Season 9 - Episode 3 - Aired 4/12/2009
The brand new three-part series concludes. Knowing they are destined to die, the Dwarfers track down those who created them to plead for more life.
#6 - Waiting for God
Season 1 - Episode 4 - Aired 3/7/1988
Given a copy of the Cat Bible, passed down through generations while the species evolved, Lister makes an incredible discovery: in his absence, he became a god. Dubbed "Cloister The Stupid" by the Cat people, his dream of opening a hot-dog and donut diner in Fiji has given rise to an entire religion. Rimmer, meanwhile, leaps to his own conclusions when the ship recovers a space capsule, believing it to contain an alien lifeform of a race he calls the Quagaars.
#7 - Siliconia
Season 12 - Episode 2 - Aired 10/19/2017
A rogue ship full of mechanoids that have rebelled against their programming to seek freedom finds the Dwarvers. They 'free' Kryten and begin to integrate him to their leisurely world. They transfer the minds of Rimmer, Lister and Cat into droids who begin to lose their human attributes the longer they stay in their new metal bodies
#8 - Duct Soup
Season 7 - Episode 4 - Aired 2/7/1997
Kochanski is not adjusting very well to being on Starbug and Lister tries to make her feel better by building her a makeshift bathtub and finding some extra clothing for her. Kryten thinks that this means they are growing closer and soon will not need him so he 'accidentally' causes an engine failure, forcing the crew to crawl around in the air ducts to get to the engine room.
#9 - Terrorform
Season 5 - Episode 3 - Aired 3/5/1992
Kryten wakes up on a moon surrounded by the remains of a crashed Starbug. He detaches his hand and tells it to return to Red Dwarf and bring back Lister and Cat. Lister comes, collects and "fixes" Kryten. Kryten tells them that Rimmer was captured while on a psy-moon (a terraforming moon that reshapes itself to mimic a persons psyche). The crew reluctantly go out on the surface to search for him. Rimmer is hung up in a dungeon and prepared to be tortured by The Unspeakable One. The crew make their way across the Swamp of Despair with frogs that say 'Useless' and through a graveyard with headstones that describe a positive part of Rimmer's personality that has died: self-confidence, honour, generosity, charm etc. Lister notices a freshly-dug grave with the headstone 'Hope' and Kryten tells the others to hurry, realising that they could be in serious danger if Rimmer loses all hope for himself. The crew finds the dungeon and drive back the unspeakable one, saving Rimmer. They try to escape in Starbug, but the ship gets caught in a swamp and begins to sink. Kryten realises that the unspeakable one only fled when he told Rimmer that they wouldn't desert him. Rimmer's personality created the terrain and they are forced to make Rimmer feel good about himself to weaken the Unspeakable One's power so they can escape. They try it and eventually Rimmer's positive emotions come back to life and fight off the hoards of negative emotions (self-doubt, mis-trust, loneliness etc.), allowing the gang to escape unharmed; except for Rimmer when they tell him that they only pretended to like him to escape!
#10 - Stasis Leak
Season 2 - Episode 4 - Aired 9/27/1988
A tear in the fabric of space and time appears on one of the ship’s lower decks, opening a doorway to Earth in the distant past. Arriving three weeks before the Red Dwarf disaster, the crew decide to right the wrongs of history, albeit on an entirely selfish basis. While Rimmer tries talking his former self into cryogenic stasis, saving himself from the catastrophe, Lister makes a beeline for Kristine Kochanski, oblivious to the fact that she’s already married.
#11 - Kryten
Season 2 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/6/1988
The crew jump at the chance to answer a distress call from a ship crewed entirely by women, only to discover that they’ve been dead for years. Not that it’s stopped their butler, a servile android called Kryten, keeping the place tidy and serving breakfast every day. To Lister’s frustration (and Rimmer’s delight), Kryten’s programmed duties continue in earnest on Red Dwarf, an overactive guilt chip rendering him incapable of dissent. In the end, only Marlon Brando can snap him out of it.
#12 - Beyond a Joke
Season 7 - Episode 6 - Aired 2/21/1997
Kryten finds a lobster scuttling around the cargo hold and cooks an elaborate feast for the crew as it is the anniversary of when he was rescued from the Nova 5. The rest of the crew however have prepared to enter a virtual reality world of Jane Austen, where Kochanski hopes to teach them a little culture. Kryten is extremely upset that they left without touching his feast and enters the VR world, blowing up the characters of the game with a tank and ordering the crew to supper. Kryten seems to calm down as they tuck into the lobster but Lister asks for a little ketchup to 'pep it up' and Kryten blows his top. Literally. They replace his head but the rage still flows through him and they eventually run out of spare heads. They go aboard a derelict ship and find some heads but they dont have their primers installed. The crew realise that it is a simulant ship and hightail it, but they cannot leave without the heads so they dress up as GELFs and make a deal with the simulant captain.
#13 - Thanks for the Memory
Season 2 - Episode 3 - Aired 9/20/1988
The morning after Rimmer’s “Deathday” party, the crew wakes to discover that four days have passed, a mysterious grave marked “To The Memory Of The Memory Of Lisa Yates” having appeared on a nearby moon. Stranger still, Lister and the Cat have both acquired broken legs while someone’s completed the jigsaw puzzle. A black box recorder fills in the gap, recalling tales of Rimmer’s barren sexual past and a misguided attempt at a Deathday surprise.
#14 - Marooned
Season 3 - Episode 2 - Aired 11/21/1989
Holly’s discovery of “five black holes” in Red Dwarf’s path prompts the crew to abandon ship, Rimmer and Lister crashing on a nearby ice planet when Starbug collides with a meteorite. With hope fading as the days pass, the marooned pair must sacrifice more than just their rivalry to survive, Lister’s diet reduced to dog food and the only thing he hates more: Pot Noodles. The need for firewood, meanwhile, soon imperils their most prized possessions: Rimmer’s camphor wood trunk and Lister’s guitar.
#15 - D.N.A.
Season 4 - Episode 2 - Aired 2/21/1991
The crew stumble upon a deserted space ship of non-human origin and Rimmer believes it is an alien ship. They go inside to search the ship and Kryten and Rimmer discover the remains of a three-headed creature. They find a wallet on him with human artifacts such as credit cards, license etc. and Kryten suggests that something has changed his physical form. Meanwhile, Cat and Lister find a machine with a Star Trek style computer panel. Cat begins playing with it and accidentally traps Lister in a pink beam. A deep voice announces that a transmogrification is about to take place. When Cat tries to get him free, Lister turns into a chicken. Rimmer and Kryten come along and while Cat is showing what he did to Lister, he traps Kryten in the beam. He manages to change Lister back to a human, but when he does the same for Kryten, it actually transforms him into a human, rather than just setting him free. Back on Red Dwarf, Kryten is delighted with his new-found humanity. However he soon starts to tire of it after talking to his spare heads and realising that he has betrayed his kind, and wants to be changed back. They go back aboard the ship and Holly says she thinks she has the computer all figured out. Rimmer decides it best if she tries it on something else first. She tries Lister's curry and turns it into a monster by mistake. After being chased all over the ship, Lister decides the only way to defeat it is to turn him into a superhuman. Holly turns him into something like Robocop, but tiny. (about 1 1/2' tall) Lister eventually defeats the Curry Monster with a can of lager (the only thing that can kill a vindaloo).
#16 - Holoship
Season 5 - Episode 1 - Aired 2/20/1992
The gang watch a sappy love story aboard Starbug and Rimmer is disgusted at how the hero sacrificed his own happiness for his lover. They come across a computer-generated ship, and Rimmer is captured and taken aboard. The Holoship (named 'The Enlightenment') will not answer Starbug's communication attempts on account of them being notoriously arrogant and self-centered. Meanwhile Rimmer is having quite a good time aboard the Holoship: he can touch, feel and taste. Not only that, but it's a ship regulation to have sexual relations at least twice a day with any other crew member. He meets a crew member, Commander Nirvanah Crane who gives him a tour of the ship. Upon having sex with her, He falls in love with her and she, even though they have disposed of the concept of 'love' aboard the ship, feels something for him also. Rimmer decides he wants to stay aboard the ship, and challenges a randomly-selected crew-member. The crew member turns out to be Nirvanah who lets him win on purpose when he tells her of how he always fails at everything and has never really achieved anything in his life. Rimmer leaves Red Dwarf to join the Enlightenment's crew but when he finds out that Nirvanah gave up her place for him, he decides to give it back to her and return to Red Dwarf, similarly to the hero in the movie (much to his own disgust).
#17 - Samsara
Season 11 - Episode 2 - Aired 9/29/2016
When the Dwarfers investigate a crashed ship at the bottom of an ocean moon, Lister and Cat become trapped together, and Lister's nightmare begins. Meanwhile, Rimmer and Kryten discover the ship is controlled by a dark force.
#18 - Cured
Season 12 - Episode 1 - Aired 10/12/2017
The boys discover a research centre where evil has been eradicated. They are bombarded by carbon copies of the infamous historical figures Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin, Vlad the Impaler and Valeria Messalina, who are now 'cured' of all evil and loving life.
#19 - Gunmen of the Apocalypse
Season 6 - Episode 3 - Aired 10/21/1993
The gang is attacked by a simulant ship who upgrade Starbug with laser cannons and defensive shields and then force them to play a game of 'cat and mouse'. The crew decide not to flee but to stay and fight which stuns the simulants. Before their ship is crippled by Starbugs new offensive weapons, the simulants upload a killer virus into the navicomp. Kryten then transfers the virus to his CPU in an attempt to eradicate it. The gang watch on a virtual reality screen as Kryten's search for an antidote is manifested as a western setting where Kryten is a sheriff who has to fight the four horsemen of the Apocalypse - Death, War, Pestilence and Famine.
#20 - Ouroboros
Season 7 - Episode 3 - Aired 1/31/1997
Over 3,000,000 years ago in the Aigbuth Arms pub, a box with a baby inside was placed under a pool table with just the word Ouroboros written on the side… Returning to the present day, the crew come across a wormhole between dimensions. They go through the wormhole, and meet an alternate version of themselves. Rimmer isn't there, Lister is a Hologram, Kochanski is alive, and Kryten is wearing a gold suit. They decide to exchange information and Kochanski requests that Lister fills a canister up with his sperm, so that she may have a child as her Lister cannot bear children. Unfortunately, Lister's in-law's - the GELFs attack (see Emohawk), and cause a break in the wormhole and Kochanski becomes caught on this side. They eventually manage to escape the GELFs, thanks to Kochanski's navigation. Kryten is jealous because Lister likes Kochanski more then him and is glad when they return to the wormhole to get her back to her own dimension. On a box they found some supplies in, Lister notices has a label "Ouroboros", with a symbol on it: a snake biting his own tail, meaning infinity - a never-ending circle. Lister recognises this as what was on his own box and realises that he is his own father and Kochanski is his mother. He rushes after Kochanski to get the in-vitro tube back before she returns to her reality. Disaster strikes, as the GELFs return and make the break in the wormhole even bigger. Kochanski tries to jump across and misses the other side, falling into a deep black void. While she's falling, Lister rushes back and gets a crossbow and a rope which Kryten happened to have handy, and harpoons Kochanski and pulls her back to his side. 18 months later, Lister takes he and Kochanski's child, and puts him in a box, writing "Ouroboros" on it, so it would remind himself of the sign when the child got to be him, and he would bring back his child, etc...
#21 - Give and Take
Season 11 - Episode 3 - Aired 10/6/2016
After an altercation with a deranged droid, Lister has his kidneys organ-napped. The only solution is to ask Cat, the most selfish creature in the universe, to give him one of his.
#22 - Polymorph
Season 3 - Episode 3 - Aired 11/28/1989
An uninvited alien guest brings the worst out of the crew – then eats it. Feeding on the fear, anger, guilt and vanity of its prey, the shape-shifting “Polymorph” creates an even more dysfunctional adversary: their alter-egos. Unable to hatch a plan that doesn’t involve leaflet campaigns and kicks to the balls, the psychotic Lister, placard-waving Rimmer, boorish Kryten and drunken Cat must unite in order to survive, the face of the enemy changing at every turn.
#23 - Officer Rimmer
Season 11 - Episode 4 - Aired 10/13/2016
After a scandalous piece of good fortune, Rimmer saves the life of a bio-printed Captain and is promoted, fulfilling his life-long dream of becoming an Officer. He immediately opens an Officer's club, which is out of bounds to the lower orders, and uses the bio-printer to fill it with versions of himself.
#24 - Only the Good...
Season 8 - Episode 8 - Aired 4/5/1999
An escape pod docks with the Dwarf and is carrying the only survivor of a ship which was attacked by a genetically-engineered corrosive life form. Unfortunately, the corrosive material is also on board and begins to eat away at Red Dwarf. Meanwhile Lister tricks Kryten into believing that Kochanski's 'time-of-the-month' is an event to be celebrated and he embarrasses himself in front of her. Plotting revenge, Kryten steals four flagons of illegal alcohol from an inmate and leaves it in Lister and Rimmer's cell just before an inspection. Lister discovers the alcohol and he and Rimmer are forced to drink it before their inspection. They only take one mouthful out of the bottle and are immediately drunk. Meanwhile, the crew learn of the life form destroying Red Dwarf and plan to abandon ship, leaving the prisoners aboard to die. The gang figure out a way to combat the life form by creating a doorway into an opposite universe and finding the opposite to the corrosive material.
#25 - Pete (1)
Season 8 - Episode 6 - Aired 3/25/1999
Lister and Rimmer are constantly getting into trouble. After playing a practical joke on Ackerman they are forced to play in an inmates vs guards basketball game and win by putting erectile solution in the guards drinks. Punishment for that is to peel potatoes for the next three weeks and to make that go faster they steal a programmable virus to peel them but it ends up eating their clothes and hair. Punishment for that is to spend three weeks in the Hole where they meet Birdman, who has been in there for nine years and has only one friend, a sparrow named Pete. Meanwhile Kryten, Cat and Kochanski are sent aboard a derelict ship where they find a device which can change the time stream surrounding an object or person to make it move extremely slow or fast and decide to use it to make their prison sentences go by in a flash. On Red Dwarf they freeze the crew and break Lister, Rimmer and Birdman out of the hold.